Friday, May 22, 2015

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Amateur Funeral Pyres for Pets

A neighbor decided to dispose of his dead dog via open air cremation. Instead of doing his research, he used an accelerant and burned up most of his back yard and melted the siding off his garage. The pup's corpse was fairly intact when the fire department arrived.
The guy was drunk & stoned so, of course, he attacked the fire fighters. Flames were reported 20-30 feet high & threatening trees.
This is probably illegal in your town in the first place, but if you insist on doing this, do your homework. You need a hot fire not a big fire & you will need to attend the fire for about a day doing some stirring as you go.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Let the Fat Lady Sing !

There's pretty much no place more associated with finality than a cemetery, so an opera performance in Bucharest’s Bellu Cemetery makes perfect sense.
This would be really cool in Cincinnati's Spring Grove Cemetery.
In the past, their Lantern Lighting event focussed on international music. This year they will have The Pete Wagner Orchestra which plays old pop tunes. The Drive In event plays recorded pop/rock music.
I think opera, real opera, not the operetta that will be performed in Bucharest, would fill the hills & trees very nicely.
A Lumenosity thing would be kinda cool in the cemetery, too but the added logistics might be a bit much. And, again, that's pop music. I think the old cemetery with it's sacred roots deserves older music.
And it would be even better if I-75 could be shut down for the event.

Read more about the Bellu event here.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The Man? The Garbage Man

Cincinnati sanitation workers will start issuing tickets & fines in June.
I'm not sure I understand. Seems like they could just not pick up the trash if it's wrong (they flat out don't pick up pianos). In all the publicity I have seen no mention of how to pay the fine & how to challenge the fine.
Why would I want to challenge a fine?
Well, these aren't the smartest cats out there and think about the sanitation worker who claimed then councilman Chris Bortz of threatening to shoot him. That guy is going to be issuing tickets? These guys aren't trained like police and their task is hardly as simple as a meter maid's. Red light cameras would be preferable to this scheme. They are geared towards safety & have trained officers monitoring them. This is pretty clearly a money grab by the city going after the low hanging fruit of home owners.
Now, can I ticket the sanitation workers who leave my cart out in the street?

Trash Guidelines

Recycling FAQ

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Humorless Among Us


Does it really have to be this way? Do bloggers have to show no humour to be taken seriously? The above Tweet (should tweet be capitalised? My style book was written in the 30s) illustrates the predicament when Cincyopolis thinks fans of UrbanCincy are all super serious Utopia designers.
Granted, some of their ideas are hilarious but even seriously you can still have a sense of humour.
Of course my pointing out this obvious fact is pointless because everybody thinks I'm not serious about anything, including the Zombie Apocalypse, the Rise of the Robots and World Dominion by Trans-alien Insectoids. When I call for testing Mayor John Cranley to see if he's really human, nobody pays any attention but his is just the first baby step (sorry, had to) towards the demise of human society.
I try to help. I want to help. I have seen & read so much science fiction & horror that I feel I really know how to move the world towards a free libertarian post apocalyptic place where hot sweaty chicks with torn clothing carry around assault rifles and shoot mutant / zombie like creatures. A world where Gothic architecture has come back into fashion & pterodactyls snatch howling children off the streets. A cloud locked world like in The Road.
oh well....

Monday, May 11, 2015

Battling Taylor

OK, Hollywood, I have another blockbuster idea for you.
An Andy Taylor prequel where we visit his military career in WWII. Wikipedia states that some of the years listed by the writers don't exactly line up with the actual war but that there are references to him being stationed in France and in N Africa as a first sergeant.
What I'm thinking is N Africa where Andy finds himself battling zombie mummies in caves.
Maybe he could meet his wife, a rough & tumble archaeologist who belly dances. That would explain her having no family in Mayberry.
This will work, Hollywood. I will wait.

Saturday, May 09, 2015

Art in the Park !

Art in the Park kicks of The May edition of Northside Second Saturday.
Just one block north of the mattress war zone!