Valeria Meets Barbie

As a fan of the barbie animated movies, I have to say Valeria Lukyanova is intriguing. I'm also a zombie fan , but Zombie Boy is just plain weird. Lukyanova takes it s step further, tho, with Space Barbie (below).
So here's what I want to see, Lukyanova in a Barbie animation. Creepy? Sure, but kids' entertainment tends to fit in there somewhere between creepy & horrifying so what the heck?
I wonder if this chick worries about somebody cutting her head off?

I Like My Women Bloody

Minase Yashiro
This holiday season's viewing began with Barbie in A Christmas Carol. It was up to the usual standards of a Barbie movie retelling a classic story interjecting Barbie into a lead role as sh tells Kelly the story as if it is original.
Anyway, that was followed by The Machine Girl. The Machine Girl is a Japanese movie (with an English dubbing available) about a teenage girl who seeks to avenge the murder of her brother & winds up getting her arm hacked off by a Yakuza family (who else ?) & then hooking up with the parents of her brother's friend, who was also murdered. The parents are a couple of garage mechanics & the wife used to run with the gangs & was quite the street-fighter in her day. They rig prosthetic chain saws & gatling guns to stick onto Ami's stump. What follows is an insane gore/violence-romp. A perfectly enjoyable film. Afterward I looked up some of the actresses on IMDB & found they all came out of the AV world.
I ask: what is preferable?
A submissive, coquettish, nymph stoned on morphine ?


Or a teenage cyborg amputee psycho-killer (with a heart of gold) ?


Now if the chick was rolling around in bed fighting for her life with a three headed Martian zombie, sheets covered in bright red blood & bright green alien gut slime - that would be cool! You could even keep the insipid music.
I am wondering when Barbie will tell Kelly the story of Dracula, Frankenbstein or Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. Rapunzel had some action towards the end - maybe someday she could tell the story, "Queen of the Black Coast" or take on the role of a female Nayland Smith or even a redemptive Fah Lo Suee ?
Or consider the possibilities of a Machine Girl Barbie with gazillions of prosthetic weaponry. You can keep your Barbie porn, I want Cyborg Warrior Barbie !
With bunches of little squirty blood packets....

The Sun-Maid Girl Goes 3D !

The Sun Maid was created around 1915 & has graced the boxes of raisins that were in kids lunch boxes for generations. The Sun Maid, the Land-o-Lakes indian butter chick & the Chiquita lady were all early crushes. Betty Crocker & Aunt Jemima never quite did it for me. Mrs. Butterworth never even made it into our household. Peter Pansy? nevermind....
Anyway, all these characters are updated over the years, Chiquita has even used real women (ugh..) for their trademark. Sun Maid has decided to go the 3D animation route to promote the healthiness of old dried up grapes. The company has enlisted Synthespians for the animation chores. The new Sun Maid animations look a lot like Mainstram's -er- Rainmaker's Barbie movies.
It appears the new 3D chick is for TV advertising only as she is not on the box, so I don't think this thing is a "replacement". However people are in an uproar. Feminazis are up in arms because her breasts are more pronounced. I'll worry about that when Lara Croft starts hawkin' prunes.
As long as she keeps wearing the goofy red hat, she's ok by me.
You can see the :15 ad here.
Why the Sun-Maid clowns don't want this thing spread virally is beyond me.

PS: For cheap animated holiday viewing, don't miss Barbie in A Christmas Carol. (Hope the Sun Maid will start doing feature films!)

Happy Birthday, Barbie !

All I want for Christmas...

Is an Elizabeth Bathory Action Figure !
This way cool toy was released in 2004 and went under my radar til I found I shared my birthday with the forward thinking countess. I can't believe the folks at Mattel haven't come up with a Barbie Bathory playset. Lord knows a household with kids is a household with headless dolls.
McFarlane Toys
Elizabeth Bathory

Due in October of '08
Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" Barbie

Details here.

Been animating it out last week or so. Watched 2 3D movies, Appleseed Ex Machina ans Barbie in The Princess and The Pauper and a mangafied Batman called Batman Gotham Knights.
Gotham Knights is the Batman Franchise attempt at the Matrix franchise's Animatrix. It comes up lacking. 2 of the six stories were ok. The art resembled the Spawn cartoons from some years ago. It was nothing too impressive. Probably had a crap budget.
I always liked the Barbie movies made by Mainframe. They are fairly low budget. The Barbie character lends itself to crappy 3D because she is a crappy doll. This particular movie, unlike the others, was a musical.
Appleseed Ex Machina had a fairly dumb storyline and the typical manga angst-ridden characters and all, but, man, there was some really purdy rendering in that sucker.
I would recommend any of 'em for anyone who is interested in that kind of crap.
How's that for going out on a limb ?

YouTube trailers:

Barbie in The Princess and the Pauper

Appleseed Ex Machina

Gotham Knight