HamCo County commissioner Greg Hartmann has decided not to run for re-election.
Who should replace him?
I think the local GOP should think out of the box on this one.
Perhaps a doll that says random phrases when you pull the string on the doll's back. The RNC could come up with some of their stock catch phrases & answers. If it works, they can use the dolls for all sorts of elected offices.
The problem with this is that the dolls wouldn't be so good at fund raising. So maybe sexbots would be a better way to go. They can ~ahem~ provide favors for ~ahem~ donations.
Then, of course they could go supernatural. Perhaps Charlie Winburn could channel a dead goat. Charlie might not care for playing second fiddle to a rotting carcass, but with some cash, I think he'd be fine.
Another option would be shape shifting insectoid reptillian space aliens. So far this has been spectacular for Cincinnati with it's first shape shifting insectoid reptillian space alien mayor.
All in all, this could provide the GOP with a real shot in the arm and be a pivotal point in their race to the bottom.