Monday, June 01, 2009

So, I got this neighbor... He lives in a rental that actually has a garage and short driveway. Out in front of his house there is only on street parking on one side. In front of my house and continuing west there is on street parking on both sides of the street. This guy has so many cars, his driveway is usually full. Dunno if he uses the garage for a car. The parking spaces across from his apartment are always full and he leaves his other cars littered on both sides of the street from my house up a few doors.
When I started to realize all these cars were owned by one asshole, my first thought was, "How the hell can he afford the insurance ?"
He, of course, doesn't use them all. They sit on the street and get dusty. The street is a hill, so debris piles up on the tires. Every so often, I or one of he neighbors calls the city and he gets tagged, ticketed, towed. The cars don't all run of course, so when he gets red tagged, he has to spend a few hours coaxing the car back to life so he can drive it around the block and park it on the other side of the street.
Over the past couple years every utility in town has been digging up the street for one reason or another. The city puts up NO PARKING signs and the guy doesn't notice. Last year the WaterWorks towed him twice. Once they towed 2 cars at once. The guy had them towed back later in the evening. I watched as he directed the tow truck driver to deposit the dead beater to a spot immediately under a NO PARKING sign which the driver pointed out to the asshole, who, apparently, still had not noticed it's existence.
In the winter, the snow plows can't get anywhere near the curb, so the neighbors blessed with hosting his herd of crap all get to shovel an additional 6-7 feet of snow to get to the plowed street.
So this guy continues to live some 10th century nomadic goat herder lifestyle, investing in cars that only depreciate in value, hemorrhaging rent on an apartment that will never be his, pissing off the neighbors and devaluing the neighborhood, keeping the local tow truck business going and developing God only knows what kind of relationship with the guys at the impound lot.
If the dumbass would bail on the cars for awhile, he could save some money, buy a house in the country with a big garage or barn (which would actually appreciate in value) and then he could re-embark on his life dream of living in a junkyard without annoying everybody around him. Til then, he will just keep getting nickled and dimed on towing fees and tickets, etc..
His beautiful gray coupe across the street just got a ticket. It is street sweeping day and now there will be a lovely pocket of debris where his car sits.

1 comment:

CityKin said...

I know the type all too well.