Friday, November 24, 2017

Black Friday Deals

Worried about getting accused of sexual harassment while binge shopping this weekend?
Worried about getting punched for wishing someone, "Happy Holidays"?
Concerned about rampaging teenagers at the mall?
Not sure about how climate change will effect Santa's reindeer?
You can buy real cool stuff, hand picked by the BiC staff from your employers' diseased, rat infested death trap.
Where else can you get a shower curtain emblazoned with the crest of Erzsebet Bathory? To Serve Man BBQ aprons? Seal of Mercury keepsake boxes? Simbi ornaments? Ault Park shopping bags? Music Hall & Union Terminal clocks? Northside Knowlton's corner mouse pads?
I'll tell you where - NOWHERE
From 80s midwestern punk rock to obscure 70s San Francisco acid rock - from futuristic man eating aliens to 16th century serial killers - from John Dee to Marie LeVeau - BLOGGING ISN'T COOL HAS WHAT YOU NEED !!
That's right folks, from the sandy beaches of Lake Erie to the white cliffs of Dover, all your holiday shopping needs are at your fingertips RIGHT NOW ! If you can't decide what you want - just get one of everything. While nothing is guaranteed, your satisfaction is imminent.
Your next mouseclick could be the most important twitch in your life.

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