Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Heading Up the Ohio Democratic Party

As lazy, liberal Democrats didn't bother to vote in the last election because, apparently, they love big intrusive government running their lives, the hunt is on for a new head of the Ohio party.
Short of resurrecting Hitler or Stalin, here's my ideas. Granted, some of them would have to move back to Ohio, but the leftist liberals said they were AOK with right wing loons when the liberals running just didn't get them excited, so, let's aim for excitement & entertainment. Resurrecting John Robinson & bringing back his circus with acrobats & trained animals to get the libs excited, but, again, we just can't resurrect these geniuses.
So, let's go
◈ Drew Carey - gets off on literacy & choreography, his experience on Who's Line Is It Anyway would prepare him to vet prospective candidates.
◈ Ariel Castro - he knows how to keep people in line
◈ Nancy Cartwright - her funny voices might actually get the attention of the comatose party members
◈ Charles Manson - great leadership skills
◈ Traci Lords - personal charisma, people skills
◈ Cheetah Chrome - small businessman, can get attention, not afraid to spit on the general assembly
◈ Ed O'Neill - smart funny guy who probably has no problem swingin' a 2x4 up the side of your head
◈ Jerry Springer - smart funny guy who always ended his news shows with heartwarming bits of blah
◈ The Naked Cowboy - why not?

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