Sunday, November 27, 2016

Politically Correct Cyber Monday

Well, as if Black Friday wasn't difficult enough, now we have to run a gauntlet/maze of political boycotts.
Pro Trump - anti Trump? They all hate Macy's & Amazon. Trump supporters want you to boycott Pepsi, Netflix & Starbucks.
Anti Trump? You need to boycott Zappos, Stein Mart, Bed Bath & Beyond & Burlington Coat Factory.
But who isn't on any of these hate lists? Dern tootin', slick, Blogging Isn't Cool!
You can camp out at Target, beat the shit out of your neighbors at WalMart, get murdered by C.H.U.D. downtown like all the other lemmings ~OR~ you can buy real cool stuff hand picked by the BiC staff from your employers' diseased, rat infested death trap.
Where else can you get a shower curtain emblazoned with the crest of Erzsebet Bathory? To Serve Man BBQ aprons? Seal of Mercury keepsake boxes? Simbi ornaments? Ault Park shopping bags? Music Hall & Union Terminal clocks? Northside Knowlton's corner mouse pads?
I'll tell you where - NOWHERE
From 80s midwestern punk rock to obscure 70s San Francisco acid rock - from futuristic man eating aliens to 16th century serial killers - from John Dee to Marie LeVeau - BLOGGING ISN'T COOL HAS WHAT YOU NEED !!
That's right folks, from the sandy beaches of Lake Erie to the white cliffs of Dover, all your holiday shopping needs are at your fingertips RIGHT NOW ! If you can't decide what you want - just get one of everything. While nothing is guaranteed, your satisfaction is imminent.
Your next mouseclick could be the most important twitch in your life.

1 comment:

Quimbob said...

See, folks?, You can win big on Blogging isn't Cool!