NASA Triggers the Eschaton

Deros worshipping NASA scientists seek to make a new solar system and possibly destroying Earth in the process.
Exploding satellites into the large planets of Jupiter & Saturn will trigger explosions starting a runaway fusion reaction that will turn the planets into stars making their satellites warm enough for the Transhumans.
The explosions are expected to shed 10% of the planets' mass & send it careening towards Earth with potentially catastrophic results. But will Earth be destroyed or will some of the planets, Like Earth and Mars just go into figure eight orbits around the two suns? Could the massive explosions result in restoring Mrs' atmosphere?
Will the transhumans, under Walt Disney's cyborg rule, rule on Callisto & Ganymede and control the people of Earth and Mars with their mind control rays?
Is this, in fact, the birth of a New Solar System Order controlled by technocrats & their Shape Shifting Alien Lizardmen allies?
Stay Tuned.

Is John Cranley an Alien From Outer Space ?

If you have ever heard or seen an interview with Cincinnati mayor John Cranley, you have likely noticed how awkward and uncomfortable he is. here is an example.
Besides being awkward and uncomfortable, he also says some really weird shit.
I have heard Cincinnatians talk on national stages and, as a non-native Porktowner, wondered why they thought ANYBODY would know ANYTHING about Cincinnati. A phrase you don't hear much around Cincinnati but used to be popular was, "I will gown to Fountain Square and tell everybody …". This was used when somebody wanted to point out that they would publicly stake their reputation on something. Nobody outside of Cincinnati would have an idea what they were talking about but Billy Cunningham said it on the Phil Donahue show and I thought - weird. I had an employer who would tell people he would suck their dicks on Fountain Square if he was wrong about something but I think that had something to do with some weird sex issues….
But I digress.
We were fortunate that he went to NYC with a talented spokeswoman.
Given the awkwardness, bizarreness, discomfort with other people & just the weird shape of the guy, I'm wondering if maybe he's actually a shape shifting, blood drinking, illuminati alien lizard Annunaki man. Maybe even something silicon based with irradescent insect wings.
Maybe, with the right sunglasses we might be able to see him in his alien form. Has anybody seen him naked and lived to tell the tale? Has anybody seen his blood?
Maybe dude should go down to Fountain Square and cut his wrists to prove that he doesn't actually have golden acid blood. He campaigned on bringing transparency to the mayor's office - how could he refuse?