Wednesday, July 08, 2015

Safety & the All Star Game

Are you coming to Cincinnati for the 2015 MLB All Star Game?
For your safety stay in your bed bug infested hotel room (with special anti human trafficking soap) and only venture out to the stadium (that will likely be blown up by terrorists) or take the #17 bus to bucolic Northside where you can eat, drink, listen to live music, engage in PC conversations with hipsters & hang out in cool cemeteries.
With talk of reinstating mounted police units in Cincinnati, Blogging isn't Cool believes that we should look at taking a step forward & investigate investing in enhanced horses.
Hooves of steel, drone implants for flying capabilities, retractable spikes in their shoulders & hips, clear aluminum shielding around their chests, embedded iPads, amplified voices, red glowing eyes, and maybe some kind of flame thrower in their noses...
By investing in these cyborg ponies now, we could save money upgrading in the future.
For safety's sake, and bog knows we are rubbing shoulders with armageddon, this is a critical investment we need to make NOW"
Downtown Cincinnati is not a risk - IT IS A DEATH TRAP !!!


5chw4r7z said...

And the fountain is blood red this morning.

Quimbob said...

Bringing in Columbus law enforcement will likely just be like in 1884 with the Columbians letting loose with their gatling guns.
the humanity....