Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Super Assholes

So, a salesman was decompressing on the patio of a bar in a skyscraper in Chicago when this guy comes up to him, drink in hand, and strikes up a conversation with the salesman.
Guy - "hi, you from out of town?"
Salesman - "yeh, from Milwaukee. I'm here to see a client."
Guy - "Nice town, spent a month there one week"
Salesman - "uh, yeh…"
Guy - "y'know, this is kind of unique but, because of the updraft here, you can jump off the patio and the wind will catch you and bring you right back up."
Salesman - "heh, yeah, man, I'm not that drunk…"
Guy - "no, really, it's pretty fun. Here, hold my drink for a minute."
Salesman - "what? NO, don't do it!!"
The guy proceeds to climb over the railing & hop off the patio.
The salesman rushed to the railing & watched the guy's fall slow down & then stop & then he started to rise - coming back up to the patio and getting deposited on the patio.
The salesman stared in disbelief as he handed the guy his drink.
Guy - "dude, it's exhilarating, you should try it"
Salesman - "oh man, they're not going to believe this back home!"
The salesman went over the railing & off the patio, pulling out his iPhone to take a selfie of himself flying around Chicago.
He plummeted down & down & hit the roof of a car, crushing the roof & killing the people in the car.
The guy looked down over the railing & laughed at the carnage, horror & panic. Then he strolled over to the bar to get another drink.
Bartender - "Superman, you are a real asshole when you get drunk.."

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