Monday, December 28, 2009

I Like My Women Bloody

Minase Yashiro

This holiday season's viewing began with Barbie in A Christmas Carol. It was up to the usual standards of a Barbie movie retelling a classic story interjecting Barbie into a lead role as sh tells Kelly the story as if it is original.
Anyway, that was followed by The Machine Girl. The Machine Girl is a Japanese movie (with an English dubbing available) about a teenage girl who seeks to avenge the murder of her brother & winds up getting her arm hacked off by a Yakuza family (who else ?) & then hooking up with the parents of her brother's friend, who was also murdered. The parents are a couple of garage mechanics & the wife used to run with the gangs & was quite the street-fighter in her day. They rig prosthetic chain saws & gatling guns to stick onto Ami's stump. What follows is an insane gore/violence-romp. A perfectly enjoyable film. Afterward I looked up some of the actresses on IMDB & found they all came out of the AV world.
I ask: what is preferable?
A submissive, coquettish, nymph stoned on morphine ?

Or a teenage cyborg amputee psycho-killer (with a heart of gold) ?

Now if the chick was rolling around in bed fighting for her life with a three headed Martian zombie, sheets covered in bright red blood & bright green alien gut slime - that would be cool! You could even keep the insipid music.
I am wondering when Barbie will tell Kelly the story of Dracula, Frankenbstein or Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde. Rapunzel had some action towards the end - maybe someday she could tell the story, "Queen of the Black Coast" or take on the role of a female Nayland Smith or even a redemptive Fah Lo Suee ?
Or consider the possibilities of a Machine Girl Barbie with gazillions of prosthetic weaponry. You can keep your Barbie porn, I want Cyborg Warrior Barbie !
With bunches of little squirty blood packets....

No comments: