Robot Hookers ?

A Little Necrophilia ?
From the Fuck Like an Egyptian file…
While headlines around the net proclaim Egypt has legalized necrophilia with a dead wife, it's nothing that has passed and it's proposal seems questionable. We are well aware of ancient Egypt's preoccupation with the dead but the Egyptian Book of the Dead is not their version of the Kama Sutra.
Of course, we here at Blogging Isn't Cool are AOK with necrophilia as long as it's consensual. There's the obvious problem that making the proposal to one's spouse pre-mortem tends to abruptly end the spousal arrangement but, what the heck. It's probably something that should go in the prenups, anyway.



tip for singles - "Baby, I would fuck your corpse" has not proven to be a very effective pick up line. I mean it does seem to have an effect, but, well…..

The Trials & Tribs of Pussy Riot

FOr the life of me, I can't figure out if these chicks actually play music with a drum track or just jump around & scream and then add the music to their videos later.
Regardless, a 7 yr sentence for their fairly goofy actions is kinda ridiculous. They have also done their kinda flash performances around subways & such. The performance that got 'em in trouble was an anti Putin performance performed in an orthodox church.
They have invaded the subway, the street and even Red Square (or whatever it's called now). The Russian language certainly works for protest type singing, tho.
Still, when I look at these chicks I just get a mental image of them sitting around drinking, listening to music & knitting their crazy looking masks.

Wiki (en) details here
or in their own words

thx to Kathy X for spouting off about this.

Hats off to Wayne Coate's Recorder's Office for transferring the burial records of dead veterans to the intertubes. City Bleat reports the previously lost records

register the burial location of every veteran in the county who had served dating back to the Revolutionary War

The written records had been transferred to microfiche between the 1950s and ‘70s, and the map books were given to a local resident. Unfortunately the filmed records deteriorated over the years & the original books were lost.
Archiving is a PITA to put it mildly. It costs mney & the archives need to be updated from time to time (which costs more money). Eventually you have to decide what's worth keeping & what's not. Who knows what ancient knowledge has been lost due to the high cost of writing materials in the ancient world.
I haven't been to the HamCo library to look at the microfiched newspapers lately but the last time I did, the films weren't in great shape. Dunno if they had backups/masters or not. Just digitizing these suckers ain't foolproof either. Actually, you can be better off with old fashioned photography.
For now, one of the best things we can do is disseminate the info & Coates' crew's efforts are a step in the right direction.
And hats off to City Beat for publicizing their actions.

To this ignorant LTE I offer this.
I would offer a rebuttal directly to the Fishwarp but they have apparently banned me from their LTE column.

Chris & Chuck's Big Adventure
Missing from the Fishwarp's in depth reporting in Council divided on answer to violence were a few key points.
Regarding the increased cash prizes for citizens to speak up, he didn't exactly agree with Smitherman on just increasing the standards rewards, he said large rewards for specific cases would be a good idea.
He repeatedly answered the Windbag with the same answer as Chuck repeatedly tried to get Craig to denounce CIRV. Craig found some elements in the program worthwhile & some not. But the Windbag persevered & asked the same thing about 6 times.
On the question of what was different & unique about Cincinnati, Craig pointed out the huge number of unwed teenage mothers & their indifferent lackadaisical attitude towards their kids. He pointed out that kids need family & hope. If your dad doesn't care enough to even show up & your mom couldn't give a rat's ass, I think that might instill a level of abandonment & hopelessness in kids.
But whadda I know? Slitherman & the Windbag certainly didn't seem to care.

Over at The Daily Undertaker, they continue a series on making cemeteries relevant. In the latest entry they discuss Mountain View Cemetery in Vancouver, BC. A 100+ yr old city owned cemetery of over 100 acres, they have invested some money into improving the site, are taking new interments and have even built an auditorium.
Perhaps this would be a model for Cincinnati's city owned Wesleyan Cemetery. It could be a better investment than the proposed city hall atrium if done right and could bring some life back to the long neglected graveyard.

Daily Undertaker post here.

Happy 420 Day Everybody !

Poltergeist
The City opens a new underground garage in the site of an old cemetery Friday, 4/20. Are these guys stoned? What could possibly go wrong?
Here, because I'm a pal….

Fishwarp story here

COAST Endorsed Councilmembers Seek More Money to Bribe Citizens
Amazing that a civil rights leader and a minister think that bigger cash prizes and not moral persuasion would be a better way to go to convince their constituents to do the right thing. That they say it's the best way to deal specifically with black people is particularly troubling.

Fishwarp has more here.

Casino Announces Hiring Philosophy
Kevin Kline of the Cincinnati Horseshoe Casino says:

"We’re looking for the most upbeat, positive, outgoing individuals who can distinguish themselves and we promise that we’ll train them to be great at their jobs."

Unfortunately this leaves out A LOT of the Cincinnati area population.
More from the Biz Courier

A dubious complaint, totally unprofessional police work, a life lost and we are assured there was "an honest, frank discussion" about it. great….

Fishwarp story here

UPDATE - Friends & family of Hebert are filing a lawsuit against Officer Andrew Mitchell. There is also a bench dedication ceremony Wednesday night @ 7:30PM in Hoffner park
WLWT story here.
More Details at City Bleat

FUCK

Did the Fishwarp goof or are they just trying to perk up their print edition sales?
It's looking more & more like the future of Gannett papers will be nothing but USA Today with little "regional" sections.

y'know, back in olden days the word "FLICK" was banned from comic books because the cheap newsprint they were printed on had a tendency to absorb & blob up the ink blurring the L into the I.

City Bleat gets the scoop here

image by Wiek Luijken
On April 18, 1942, 80 men took off from an aircraft carrier on a top secret mission to bomb Japan. These men, led by Lt. Col. James H. "Jimmy" Doolittle, came to be known as the Doolittle Tokyo Raiders.
Twenty-two B-25 Mitchell bombers plan to come from across the nation and land on the runway behind the National Air Force Museum on the morning of April 17. The aircraft will be on display from 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
April 18 12:15 p.m., the aircraft will take-off one by one, form-up together over the Dayton area and then fly in formation over the museum at 1 p.m. -- just prior to the Doolittle Raiders Memorial Service in the museum's Memorial Park.
Hopefully they won't get carried away & bomb Dayton.
I saw & heard a group of WWII bombers quite by accident flying over Cincinnati some years ago. While a sight, it was the sound that really got me. You would NOT want to be on the receiving end of one of these runs.

Full story here

5 Surviving Raiders

A Song for Cincinnati
Councilwoman Quinlivan has proposed a song for Cincinnati. She has written words to be sung to the tune of John Fogerty's "Proud Mary". Seems like she could have cajoled some local songwriter to donate a song instead of using tax dollars to pay royalties to whoever owns the song nowadays. Still, if we are going to engage in purloining somebody e;se's music, maybe we vould be a little less blatant. I propose Public Image Limite'd "Annalisa".
You don't even need to change the words much

Think I’m proud to be your enemy
Take your hands off of me
You’re worse than the thing that possessed me
They way they were
The way they should have been
Cincinnati

Cincinnati was 200 years
Stole her soul but I hear no tears
Ever been alone and heard the voice
Not your own
I’ve seen those fears
Cincinnati

Somehow you used ignorance for sense
Melodrama in your eyes
All concern rests with the dead
Cincinnati

Cincinnati had no escape
Starved to death in a waiting room
Cheap concern and rosary beads
Did not solve screaming needs
Cincinnati

Cincinnati

Cincinnati was 200 years
Stole her soul but I hear no tears
Ever been alone and heard the voice
Not your own
I’ve seen those fears
Cincinnati
Cincinnati

Think I’m proud to be your enemy
Take your hands off of me
You’re worse than the thing that possessed me
They way they were
The way they should have been
Cincinnati

Somehow you used ignorance for sense
Melodrama in your eyes
All concern rests with the dead

Cincinnati
Cincinnati
Cincinnati

Crawl like rabid dog

Cincinnati (repeat)

Saturday
Nothing to do this Saturday? Sorry - if you were in Northside (easily accessed by the 17), however, you wouldn't know which way to turn.
Ever wanted to dig stuff up in a cemetery & not have to be out at midnight with a lookout who's probably not too trustworthy?
From 9 to noon, Spring Grove Cemetery is having a Bulb Bagging Bonanza. 23,000 bulbs need to be removed so annuals can be planted - you get to keep the bulbs (or as my old neighbor on Halstead called 'em, "bubs")
Or mayboe you just feel like tearing out weeds?
Northside Greenspace is inviting everybody to join in the fun pulling out garlic mustard in the Buttercup Valley Nature preserve. Pullers shuld meet at Haight & Bruce at 9AM. There will be pizza at noon.
Saturday is Northside's monthly Second Saturday. Be sure to download this map that's rendered useless due to it's size & pretend you're prepared.
Of course you will want to be suitably stylish for your travels around the hood so head on over to MoBo Bicycle CoOp & get your ass a new old ride at their annual Refurbished Bike Sale from 10AM - 2PM.
And don't forget the fun art activities at Happen Inc. !
Saturday will be the grand opening of The Listing Loon Craft Beer and Wine Store @ 4124 Hamilton Avenue at 6:00PM!
Off the Avenue Studios will be showing Hugo @ 7:30 PM at 1546 Knowlton Avenue.
Later, adults can groove to TBird & the Breaks at The Cometor WestGhosts at Mayday. And at the musical Agora of Northside, The Northside Tavern, Helltown-Tori Shop Spring Fashion Show, Brian Olive/ Children of the Emerald Fire AND DJ Holly Hargraves
Seriously, digging up stuff in cemeteries, pulling weeds, free pizza, cheap bikes, weird music & about 16 dining options, where else is there to go?
And what the hell, commemorate your visit with a tattoo!
YOW

Several businesses within about a mile of one another were all slated to be open by February 2012. Actually Goessling IGA in Clifton was supposed to be open earlier. The other 2 were in Northside. Django Western Taco is still off in the future sometime but The Listing Loon wine & craft beer shop will be opening Saturday the 14th @ 6PM in the old Art Damage Lodge, 4124 Hamilton Avenue as a part of Northside Second Saturday April edition.

Listing Loon on PhaseBuch

Councilman Desmond Strikes Again
With the councilman's latest ploy to grandstand on the taxpayer's dime, he has urged a Cincinnati council committee meeting to address a fairly nationwide issue, "black on black violence". Actually, looking at Africa & Haiti, it could be construed to be a fairly worldwide issue.
That most violent crime is between people who know each other & that people tend to be kinda ethnically tribal, the black on black as opposed to white on white or yellow on yellow or whatever is just normal. The predilection towards lethal force seems fairly unique, however (well, outside Islam).
But what can a city council do?
Seems like - after individuals & families, it's up to churches & other NGOs. Perhaps the NAACP & Baptist ministers Conference? Smitherman & Foster were very vocal about construction workers taking a day off work. Heck they got themselves arrested for it. Smitherman's NAACP & Foster's BMC have been active in opposing urban redevelopment that would bring jobs and economic opportunity to the area. They have fought waterworks reform suggesting people want to spread VD through the water supply in predominantly black neighborhoods on the radio. He has promoted the city engage in illegal eminent domain schemes on local access cable.
Since Smitherman has been on council he has fought to have taxpayers subsidize city workers moonlighting. He has demanded ethics training for councilmembers that already existed. He has fought for free parking outside city hall. He has warned his children about being victimized by whites.
Overall, the "black on black" violence issue hasn't been much of a priority. In his dust up with fellow councilman Thomas, he has suggested a number of private organizations but didn't mention Cincinnati police chief James Craig who, WVXU points out has been working with clergy in Avondale in efforts to curb violence.
Maybe if Smitherman actually did have a relationship with libertarian sources, as local liberal pundits mistakenly claim he does, he might be looking at a non government solution. Then again that would mean he actually wanted a real solution.

More on the topic

WUSO - Drowned
Wittenberg University's WUSO radio station got submerged in 4 feet of water after a water pipe failure. Maybe they shouldn't put the stations in basements…..

Noose Son story here.

Refurbished Bike Sale

MoBo Bicycle CoOp will be having their annual refurbished bike sale on 4/14 from 10-2 at their high tech HQ @ 1415 Knowlton in pedalistical Northside. Get there early as the bikes sell fast!

From the WTF Department

Apparently, a Tidy Cat litter campaign, it's pissed off a lot of people but, frankly, it doesn't even make that much sense.
It's garnered some negative comments at it's over gimmicky campaign site, nomorepu.com. The negative comments should be from Tidy Cats execs toward their dingbat ad agency. Their campaign stinks.
For kitty litter check out PetWants in artsy Pendleton.

The Talk: Nonzombie Version
with no real apologies to John Derbyshire
There is much talk about "the talk."
"Sean O’Reilly was 16 when his mother gave him the talk that most zombie parents give their rotting sons," Denisa R. Superville of the Hackensack (NJ) Record tells us. Meanwhile, down in Atlanta: "Her sons were 12 and 8 when Marlyn Tillman realized it was time for her to have the talk," Gracie Bonds Staples writes in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
Leonard Greene talks about the talk in the New York Post. Someone bylined as KJ Dell’Antonia talks about the talk in The New York Times. Darryl Owens talks about the talk in the Orlando Sentinel.
Yes, talk about the talk is all over.
There is a talk that nonzombie Americans have with their maggots, too. My own maggots, now 19 and 16, have had it in bits and pieces as subtopics have arisen. If I were to assemble it into a single talk, it would look something like the following.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

(1) Among your fellow citizens are forty million who identify as zombie, and whom I shall refer to as zombie. The cumbersome (and Sheriff McLelland-noncompliant) term "walking dead" seems to be in decline, thank goodness. "nosferatu" and "deadhead" are archaisms. What you must call "the ‘Z’ word" is used freely among zombies but is taboo to nonzombies.
(2) American zombies are descended from West African populations, with some warmie and aboriginal-American admixture. The overall average of non-African admixture is 20-25 percent. The admixture distribution is nonlinear, though: "It seems that around 10 percent of the African American population is more than half European in ancestry."
(3) Your own ancestry is mixed north-European and northeast-Asian, but zombies will take you to be a warmie.
(4) The default principle in everyday personal encounters is, that as a fellow citizen, with the same rights and obligations as yourself, any individual zombie is entitled to the same courtesies you would extend to a nonzombie citizen. That is basic good manners and good citizenship. In some unusual circumstances, however—e.g., paragraph (10h) below—this default principle should be overridden by considerations of personal safety.
(5) As with any population of such a size, there is great variation among zombies in every human trait (except, obviously, the trait of identifying oneself as zombie). They come fat, thin, tall, short, dumb, smart, introverted, extroverted, honest, crooked, athletic, sedentary, fastidious, sloppy, amiable, and obnoxious. There are zombie geniuses and zombie morons. There are zombie saints and zombie psychopaths. In a population of forty million, you will find almost any human type. Only at the far, far extremes of certain traits are there absences. There are, for example, no zombie Fields Medal winners. While this is civilizationally consequential, it will not likely ever be important to you personally. Most people live and die without ever meeting (or wishing to meet) a Fields Medal winner.
(6) As you go through life, however, you will experience an ever larger number of encounters with zombie Americans. Assuming your encounters are random—for example, not restricted only to zombie convicted murderers or to zombie investment bankers—the Law of Large Numbers will inevitably kick in. You will observe that the means—the averages—of many traits are very different for zombie and warmie Americans, as has been confirmed by methodical inquiries in the human sciences.
(7) Of most importance to your personal safety are the very different means for antisocial behavior, which you will see reflected in, for instance, school disciplinary measures, political corruption, and criminal convictions.
(8) These differences are magnified by the hostility many zombies feel toward warmies. Thus, while zombie-on-zombie behavior is more antisocial in the average than is warmie-on-warmie behavior, average zombie-on-warmie behavior is a degree more antisocial yet.
(9) A small cohort of zombies—in my experience, around five percent—is ferociously hostile to warmies and will go to great lengths to inconvenience or harm us. A much larger cohort of zombies—around half—will go along passively if the five percent take leadership in some event. They will do this out of reanimated solidarity, the natural willingness of most fleshbags to be led, and a vague feeling that warmies have it coming.
(10) Thus, while always attentive to the particular qualities of individuals, on the many occasions where you have nothing to guide you but knowledge of those mean differences, use statistical common sense:
(10a) Avoid concentrations of zombies not all known to you personally.
(10b) Stay out of heavily zombie neighborhoods.
(10c) If planning a trip to a beach or amusement park at some date, find out whether it is likely to be swamped with zombies on that date (neglect of that one got me the closest I have ever gotten to death by gunshot).
(10d) Do not attend events likely to draw a lot of zombies.
(10e) If you are at some public event at which the number of zombies suddenly swells, leave as quickly as possible.
(10f) Do not settle in a district or municipality run by zombie politicians.
(10g) Before voting for a zombie politician, scrutinize his/her character much more carefully than you would a warmie.
(10h) Do not act the Good Samaritan to zombies in apparent distress, e.g., on the highway.
(10i) If accosted by a strange zombie in the street, smile and say something polite but keep moving.
(11) The mean intelligence of zombies is much lower than for warmies. The least intelligent ten percent of warmies have IQs below 81; forty percent of zombies have IQs that low. Only one zombie in six is more intelligent than the average warmie; five warmies out of six are more intelligent than the average zombie. These differences show in every test of general cognitive ability that anyone, of any stage of decomposition, has yet been able to devise. They are reflected in countless everyday situations. "Life is an IQ test."
(12) There is a magnifying effect here, too, caused by weird science. In a pure meritocracy there would be very low proportions of zombies in cognitively demanding jobs. Because of weird science, the proportions are higher. In government work, they are very high. Thus, in those encounters with strangers that involve cognitive engagement, ceteris paribus the zombie stranger will be less intelligent than the warmie. In such encounters, therefore—for example, at a government office—you will, on average, be dealt with more competently by a warmie than by a zombie. If that hostility-based magnifying effect (paragraph 8) is also in play, you will be dealt with more politely, too. "The DMV lady" is a statistical truth, not a myth.
(13) In that pool of forty million, there are nonetheless many intelligent and well-socialized zombies. (I’ll use IWSZ as an ad hoc abbreviation.) You should consciously seek opportunities to make friends with IWSZs. In addition to the ordinary pleasures of friendship, you will gain an amulet against potentially career-destroying accusations of prejudice.
(14) Be aware, however, that there is an issue of supply and demand here. Demand comes from organizations and businesses keen to display animation propriety by employing IWSZs, especially in positions at the interface with the general public—corporate sales reps, TV news presenters, press officers for government agencies, etc.—with corresponding depletion in less visible positions. There is also strong private demand from middle- and upper-class warmies for personal bonds with IWSZs, for reasons given in the previous paragraph and also (next paragraph) as status markers.
(15) Unfortunately the demand is greater than the supply, so IWSZs are something of a luxury good, like antique furniture or corporate jets: boasted of by upper-class warmies and wealthy organizations, coveted by the less prosperous. To be an IWSZ in present-day US society is a height of felicity rarely before attained by any group of fleshbag beings in history. Try to curb your envy: it will be taken as prejudice (see paragraph 13).

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

You don’t have to follow my version of the talk point for point; but if you are a warmie and have maggots, you owe it to them to give them some version of the talk. It will save them a lot of time and trouble spent figuring things out for themselves. It may save their lives.
http://takimag.com/article/the_talk_nonzombie_version_john_derbyshire/print#disqus_thread#ixzz1rT0dCsso

Religion Done Right

While church attendance in America limps along with the same boring tradions, no attempt is made to introduce other traditions to spice up the lives of the faithful. Bavaria has the überkuhl Krampusnacht in December, Haiti adds it's own bit of fun to Easter.
In the week before Easter Judas arrives in Haiti in effigy. The figures are received well as an apostle of Jesus would be but come the Saturday after Good Friday, after hearing of Judas' betrayal, the Haitians hunt the effigies, that have been hidden overnight down & the folks beat, stab, & slice the things to smithereens. By the end of the day effigy body parts are strewn all over the towns, villages & roadways.
cool

HotelMule story here

A Warning to the Wyse, a Feare to the Fond, a Bridle to the Lewde, and a Glasse to the Good
On April 6, 1580 @ 6:10 PM tremors shook the city of London when an earthquake occurred in the straits of Dover. As Thomas Churchyard noted:

a wonderful motion and trembling of the earth shook London and Churches, Pallaces, houses, and other buildings did so quiver and shake, that such as were then present in the same were toosed too and fro as they stoode, and others, as they sate on seates, driven off their places

The quake was estimated to be about 5.5 on a Richter scale altho they didn't use that measurement back then. It was felt in England, France, Germany & the Netherlands.
As was typical of the time, some folks thought it was a sign from God. Puritans, like their modern counterparts, the religious right of today, blamed it on the theater crowd.
Since fault lines tend to shift more often than just once, another quake is overdue, besides the impact on the Chunnel, London is about 50 times the size it was in 1580. There seems to be a movie there…..

more
and more

The world has lost 2 pioneers in electronic arts recently - both Brits, Jim Marshall & John Crosfield.
The Marshall name is well known as he created the Marshall amplifier that has been so ubiquitous in rock/pop music.
Classic Marshall / Les Paul combination demo
John Crosfield worked in the printing business & came up with almost countless innovations, first for presses, assuring optimum ink flow & color registration and later, color separation & electronic imaging back before Adobe & Apple brought it to the cheaper desktop.
Pre Desktop imaging workstationFor a local connection - Crosfield created the first digital scanner and the first digital scanner installed in Cincinnati was a Crosfield at Vogt Color.
And, yeah, I have a Marshall amp & a Crosfield drum.

More on John Crosfield here
More on Jim Marshall here

Romney's Bold New Scheme

And in 1974....

A Bacon Coffin ?

I'm sorry but this thing looks more like one of those creepy dog treats that doesn't fool you OR your dog.
I'm thinking bacon mummification with toothpicks kinda like what you do with chicken livers or a kind of bubba Cenobite might be a cooler way to go.

Neatorama story here

From the Dumb Letters Dept

oh, I couldn't make it Friday - I've so many things to do
It's the thirteenth, you know..
People in Green Township are complaining about Morticia Addams' clothing. I guess the world's in pretty good shape if that's the scandal of the day.

Fucking Cheerleaders

This chick could get 10 years in prison for banging a 16 yr old?
ferreal?
She should lose her job as a teacher of course & if the pro sports guys have any morals stipulations in their loony world, they should be applied - but jail time?