Saturday, October 24, 2009

Natural/Homemade Treats ?

When I was a kid, Trick or Treating resulted in a lot of candy but also a lot of brownies, cookies, popcorn balls, candy apples & other homemade stuff. There was an apartment building full of old people up the street & they would shuffle out of their apartments & hand out pie & apple juice to the kids & coffee for the parents. Of course, coming outside also headed of a bunch of dirty & obnoxious kids from coming into the building.
Over the years, however, homemade goodies have been frowned on as reports of poisoned and drugged foods have spread through the media like wildfire. Hospitals routinely offer X-Ray facilities for checking candies for needles & razor blades and such.
Because the media likes sex & terror so much, mixing them together with pedophilia hysteria is a natural. Some towns actually round up all the convicted pedophiles and lock 'em up for the evening on October 31. This, of course, keeps the police from watching the streets as little kids in vision impairing masks are out running around in the streets in a sugarized frenzy. The thing is, there has been less than a handful of Halloween related cases of pedophilic rapes reported.
The fact is, in about 60 years there have been less than 100 cases of Halloween treat tampering nationwide and almost 90% of those cases have found the tampering was done by a family member.
With this limited batch of numbers, you are statistically safer getting your Halloween treats from the creepy old guy down the street who likes to show kids his train set than from your dad. Of course, if your dad happens to be the creepy old guy with the train set.....
I don't like giving out candy bars on Halloween. Dunno why. It seems cheesy & over commercialized. I have given out comic books, trading cards & toys in the past. I was thinking of going retro this year & handing out apples. I don't want parents to just automatically throw the things out when the kid brings his swag home, tho. I mean, once I give it away, I don't really care, but.....
So I am asking all you parental types out there (because I know the thousands of people who read this waste of magnetism are wonderful parents), is it ok to hand out fruit & handmade treats on Halloween ? Or are we reduced to Walmart style halloweens due to MSM hysteria nowadays ?
For your convenience, I have added a poll in the top right of the page.
DISCLAIMER, I am not a pedophile & I do not have a train set but I am without a doubt, a creepy old guy down the street. Or, as one kid yelled at me one year, "FUCK YOU MAN ! YOU'RE WEIRD !"


Mister Creeper said...

I always seem to forget about Halloween until the kids start knocking at my door. I don't know, but the parents always seem to frown upon my stash of condoms and cough-drops.

Quimbob said...

I was actually thinking about giving condoms to the older teenagers without costumes.

horosho said...

The best I've heard in that regard is BigSexy who hands out the various sauces he gets with his chinese food (which he stockpiles all year for this) to those without costumes. I don't think I could do that but we do have the 'crappy candy bowl' for the no costume crowd at the horosho estate

CityKin said...

I like the toy or comic book option. I would think Cappels might have a bag of cheap stuff like balloons or whistles. They get so much candy, they end up not even liking it anymore. Ours appreciate the one guy who gives them chips each year. Fresh fruit could get expensive.